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5 Days of Silence

Prior to signing up to take MSLD 520 Management Skills for Leaders, I registered for a 5-day Silent  Retreat, a part of my teacher training pathway for Mindful Self-Compassion. I added to my calendar these 5 days' worth of nothingness. Initially, I worried that I could not afford to take this time away from my work, school, and personal life. I wondered if it was worth my time to do nothing for so long. As the retreat approached everything came into alignment. I received signs from work, school, family, and friends that this time of quiet and introspection was welcome and needed. In fact, the retreat occurred during the week that I was supposed to write this blog post! The prompt here was to spend ten minutes a day for three days practicing mindfulness. I did a bit more than ten minutes. I spent 5 days, in silence doing absolutely nothing, but being mindful and meditating. In this practice, I learned about myself and my thought patterns. Meditation and mindfulness are practices that I intend to continue fostering. 

Image From: https://www.verywellmind.com/meditation-4157199

What did I learn about myself?

Through the practice of silent mindful meditation, I was faced with the inner workings of my mind without the distraction of work, school, conversation, and endless scrolling on my cellphone. I learned that my mind is a much busier place than I had previously thought. My inner voice is constantly projecting into the future and ruminating about the past. This practice showed me that my primary stressor, even in the absence of external stimuli is anticipatory stress. Thinking with a fearful mind about past events, potential future consequences, and dreaming up scenarios that may never and will likely never occur (Whetten & Cameron, 2016). In order to truly do nothing, I focused my attention on my breath and on the physical sensations of the air on my skin, and the feeling of the seat beneath me. For five days I practiced meditation, mindfulness, self-compassion, and gratitude. 

How do presence and mindfulness reduce stress?

As Puddicombe describes in their TED Talk, meditation is not the practice of controlling the mind and avoiding thoughts; rather, it is observing our experiences with a non-judgemental "relaxed [and] focused mind" (TED, 2013). This is easier said than done. The practice of observing our inner thoughts and disidentifying with them is not something that we learn in school or from our day-to-day experiences. This alternative perspective, however, allows us to create a space between the narrative in our mind and how we choose to behave in response. Our brains automatically project us into the past and the future, look for problems and react instinctively to them. This behavior is called the Default Mode Network and evolutionarily it has served humans well. Today, constantly looking for problems and threats in our day-to-day life is no longer practical or healthy. If you are anything like me it has caused great suffering in your life too. In practice, mindfulness allows us to bypass this Default Mode Network and thoughtfully respond to events in our lives rather than reacting to them at first glance (Neff & Germer, 2018).  

Imagine, avoiding the default reaction of panic the next time your supervisor sets a meeting up with you. Perhaps you could choose to respond to the invite with a mind open to the possibility of good things to come! 

Continuing the Practice

The structure of this silent retreat allowed me to spend some time going on mindful walks and practicing mindfulness informally through chores among other necessary activities. During these activities, I noticed everything as if I were experiencing it for the first time. While walking around my city I noticed plants, smells, sounds, and structures that I have never seen before. While washing dishes I smelled the fragrance of Dawn dish soap, the feeling of warm water running over my hands, and the warm ache of my back as a stood in front of the sink. These are actions that I often take on autopilot without much thought. Bringing mindfulness to everyday tasks helps me live in the moment and avoid the suffering associated with ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. Meditation and mindfulness are states that I plan to talk with anyone I can about to help them find the value in doing nothing. It has helped me immensely over these last few years, and I know that I can help others too.



References

Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2018). The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive. The Guilford Press.

TED. (2013, January 11). All it takes is 10 mindful minutes: Andy Puddicombe [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/qzR62JJCMBQ. 

Whetten, D. A. & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills, 9th ed. Pearson.

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