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How I found the Standards in my Life

I had standards by which I lived my life before I could explicitly identify them. I found that not every choice I made brought me closer to the person I wanted to be. I make decisions every day that bring me joy, sadness, fulfillment, and yearning for more. In an effort to understand how I make these decisions, and to be more intentional, I recently started a journey to reflect on my own core values. I have made many moves in my life and I wanted to better understand how I can make decisions that align with my core values. To facilitate this introspection I asked myself the questions below. In reflecting on these questions I found patterns. Patterns of behaviors and ways of being that helped me understand how I have lived in and out of alignment with my core values. Now that I am aware of them, and have them written out, these are my standards for decision making. These are the ways of being that help ensure I am living the life I want to live.


Questions I asked myself


What am I doing when I’m at my happiest? 

What am I doing when I feel disappointed in myself? 

When have I felt like I needed more? 

When have I felt most fulfilled? 


Standards in my Life


Standard #1: Stewardship of relationships with those I love, and my community. 


It is important that the decisions I make, the employment I hold, and the way I engage with others is taking care of where I live and who I love. Throughout my life I have been interested in and involved with social services, nonprofits, and community volunteer work. I’ve found great fulfillment working with those in need, and volunteering my time to make my community a better place. These standards, while only recently identified, have been present in how I have lived my life for as long as I can remember. From volunteering at a children’s museum in my youth, to working as a crisis counselor more recently, my employment history has told the story of how these standards lead my life and always have. My work in social service agencies and volunteer groups helped me find many like-minded people who share this passion and also have these standards as a part of how they chose to spend their time.


Standard #2: Communicating with candor and compassion to help myself and others grow. 

Having hard conversations is how we grow. I communicate with candor, but that does not mean that I cannot have compassion for others and for myself. Even though many share these core values, at times standard number two can cause conflict. Communicating with candor is not always easy or fun. Not everyone is receptive to thoughtful and candid feedback and can perceive criticism of their work as an attack on their character. To deal with this I lean into compassion by understanding that they may not yet be ready to accept feedback, and apologize for any hurt feelings. Perhaps another time, or with another approach, they will be more receptive.


How these Standards work in my Life


I can compare these standards of how I live my life to the Paulian Standards of Critical Thinking as discussed in Learning to Think Things Through. I see every decision I make, and every activity I choose to engage in, through the lens of the above two standards. I picture these standards as “a set of screens or filters that screens out” behaviors and activities that do not align with who I see myself as (Nosich, 2012). I can also use some of the 10 standards of critical thinking to further refine my decision making. A good critical thinker lives in question. When evaluating my life’s activities, I ask myself if the question at hand is relevant to one of my standards of how I live my life. Not every facet of life is related to communication and service, so I have to think about the implications of my actions and evaluate those possible outcomes through the screens of my core values to determine if I should engage with them.


With these standards of how I live my life in mind, deciding what is worth my time is easy. I now have these criteria that any activity I engage in must satisfy. All it took was observing what works and what doesn't to bring me fulfillment. What I'm most excited for is seeing where these standards take me and what new standards they guide me to as I follow them.


Image from:
 https://inventive.io/blog/understanding-your-core-values-personal-and-professional/


References Nosich, G. M. (2012). Learning to think things through: A guide to critical thinking across the curriculum (4th ed.). Boston: Pearson.


A500.3.3.RB Name Your Standards
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