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The 18-Second Manager

From 2015 to 2017 In Tallahassee, Florida, I served as the supervisor for a small local hotline serving childcare professionals. I oversaw around 20 full and part-time employees who answered calls on this hotline. After a few years, I felt that I knew the job like the back of my hand. I had seen everything there was to see and helped with any problem that anyone might have, or so I thought. Sometimes, when a team member came to me for support, I would interrupt them to provide them with an answer to their issue before they could finish asking for support. I was confident, which is great for a leader, but I know that this confidence sometimes made me an 18-second manager to my team (Peters, 2009). 

I recognized that a block to listening was happening there. I wasn’t truly supporting my team, I was just benign right as quickly as possible. I learned that employees do not want to have their issues resolved quickly. They rather feel heard. When I recognized this, I made conscious efforts to change my behaviors and improve my listening. 

Image from: https://www.certusrecruitment.com/blog/2020/02/listen-up-3-ways-to-improve-your-listening-skills-in-the-business-world

My efforts to assist my team were genuine, however, my methodology did not serve them with the empathy and support that they sought from their supervisor. I now reflect that I was relying on mind-reading and presuppositions in my communication with the team and customers. To get around this tendency to try to solve problems before they are fully stated I revisited the training that I had received as a crisis-counselor around active listening skills. First, I needed to give my full attention to my team and allow them to fully ask their question before providing them with feedback. Giving them an answer as an interruption rubbed a few of them the wrong way. It made them feel like I was rushing them away, that I didn’t have the time for them or their problems. This was not my intention at all. I thought I was helping them best, by answering their questions as soon as I could. Had I known at the time, I could have also improved my listening skills for my team by using clarifying questions to gain true insight into the situations at hand (McKay, 2009). These questions may not change the answer that I give, but it would show the team that I was listening to what they had to say, and giving their question some thought.  It was important that I was showing up for my team in the ways that they needed me to. I had to face the reality that I cannot know what someone is going to say before they say it and that my team deserved to be felt heard, and understood by me. 


References

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages The communication skills book. New Harbinger Publications.

Peters, Tom. (2009, December 7). Tom Peter’s leadership thoughts: Listening. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwB7NAvKPeo


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